The Rut

I'm stuck in this rut, right, but with no idea how to break it. I've tried to write some scenes for the book, but I can't do it. I'm trying to think of things to do, but unless it's free or comes with a cooked meal, I don't want to know!! I'm hungry all the time, depressed all the time and we're fighting over nothing every five minutes. I can't take it anymore, I want it to go back to the way it was: no fighting, taking turns to cook, making love more often. I miss being in halls because it was easy. No bills, no landlord and no god damn R & S. I'm sick of the influence they've had, it's their fault we fight because we get the brunt of all their crap.
If I had a job, none of this would bother me. I'd have somewhere to go and would be tired so I'd have a reason to be moody and depressed. Plus I'd have money, and not having that causes tension too, because we want and need stuff but can't always afford it. It isn't fair on me or M because I want us to have the best, and then the same for our kids, grandkids and whoever else follws! I'm trying to write the book and get it published so I could make money on it. No luck yet, though. But I'll keep trying, hoping. It's what I'm good at.