Job hunting doesn't stop the crying

Friday 27th March: I'm trying to find a job that (a) I can do; (b) I enjoy and (c) isn't make-me-want-to-bash-my-head-against-a-wall boring. These criteria really don't help you search on he net. Trust me I tried. Going back to my previous blog (that no-one will have read but anyway..) I'm still having weight problems. I tried a food diary but that didn't last long. Then I tried just having what i want. That works too, if you want to put ON weight. People are so stupid if they think that'll work. Plus, Sky was off, so no comfort TV instead. Just this stuff.
Watchin Supersize v Superskinny (C4) is a very scary experience. For one, all you can see is a bag of bones with a weird outlook on food, or the lack of it. Secondly, you see a human lard machine that could put you off eating ever again. Unfortunately, that doesn't work but it will put you off whatever you're eating right then. It amazes me when I consider my own weight issues (I actually don't know what my weight is), I feel better. I don't know if that's the point but I do. The Superskinnies make me sick because I do not want to see their 'diet' because that's the biggest joke ever. How that doesn't kill off the Supersizer in a week, I don't know.
While our Sky was off, we also had to endure BBC3's Freaky Eaters. One girl, this week, was afraid of chicken. i didn't see all of it because I was making a sausage sandwich, which I heartily enjoyed. (Though was plagued by guilt afterwards :s ). The Freaky Eaters should combine with Supersize... as they all seem to have issues with food. As do I. Funny that. We all have our issues, but the most dangerous are from food. I want all the time but am lazy so can't be arsed to go and get it or make it or whatever! Being fat is too much effort but no matter what I do, I still am.
Anyway, writing my book takes my mind off food. I make a cup of coffee and some toast in the morning and eat nothing agin till lunch... if I've written enough. Which somehow, I have. I'll have Jeremy Kyle on in the background, while writing away about drugs and murder or whatever I actually decided (about 10 years ago now) what it's about.
It's good to have a purpose, I'm not that good at writing stories but got my english teacher at GCSE to proof what I'd done already. She liked it! I could have kissed her there and then, but realised that, actually, no, she's married and her daughter is a right cow! Though, her daughter found the book and read it, and actually like it too!!! I was amazed at how people actually like what I write so, here I am on here. Seeing if people care about what I have to say. I doubt it but hey! if you're reading this, I'm on Twitter too!! (suziking)
Suzi
xxx